Evaluative Words Frequently Confused with Emotions
These feelings and needs are suggestions only; this listing is neither complete nor definitive. It is intended to assist you when translating words which are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. When somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” in NVC you might empathically translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you would really like to be included?’
- Wisconsin IIT Participants, April 2000,
- edited by Susan Skye
| Evaluative Word | Giraffe Feeling(s) | Giraffe Need(s) |
| abandoned | terrified, hurt, bewildered, sad, frightened, lonely | Nurturing, connection, belonging, support, caring |
| abused | angry, frustrated, frightened | Caring, nurturing, support, emotional or physical wellbeing, consideration. Need for all living things to flourish. |
| (not) accepted | upset, scared, lonely | inclusion, connection, community, belonging, contribution, peer respect |
| attacked | scared, angry | safety |
| belittled | angry, frustrated, tense, distressed | respect, autonomy, to be seen, acknowledgment, appreciation |
| betrayed | angry, hurt, disappointed, enraged | trust, dependability, honesty, honor ?? commitment, clarity, |
| blamed | angry, scared, confused, antagonistic, hostile, bewildered, hurt | Accountability, causality, fairness, justice |
| bullied | angry, scared, pressured | autonomy, choice, safety, consideration |
| caged/ boxed in |
angry, thwarted, scared, anxious | autonomy, choice, freedom |
| cheated | Resentful, hurt, angry | honesty, fairness, justice, trust, reliability |
| coerced | angry, frustrated, frightened, thwarted, scared | choice, autonomy, freedom, act freely, choose freely |
| cornered | angry, scared, anxious, thwarted | autonomy, freedom |
| criticized | in pain, scared, anxious, frustrated, humiliated, angry, embarrassed | understanding, acknowledgement, recognition, accountability, non-judgmental communication |
| discounted/ diminished | hurt, angry, embarrassed, frustrated | need to matter, acknowledgment, inclusions, recognition, respect |
| disliked | sad, lonely, hurt | connection, appreciation, understanding acknowledgment, friendship, inclusion |
| distrusted | sad, frustrated | trust, honesty, |
| dumped on | angry, overwhelmed | respect, consideration |
| harassed | angry, frustrated, pressured, frightened | respect, space, consideration, peace |
| hassled | irritated, distressed, angry, frustrated, | serenity, autonomy, do things at my own pace and in my own way, calm, space |
| ignored | lonely, scared, hurt, sad, embarrassed | connection, belonging, inclusion, community, participation |
| insulted | angry, embarrassed | respect, consideration, acknowledgment, recognition |
| interrupted | angry, frustrated, resentful, hurt | respect, to be heard, consideration |
| intimidated | Scared, anxiety | safety, equality, empowerment |
| invalidated | angry, hurt, resentful, | appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, recognition |
| invisible | sad, angry, lonely, scared | to be seen and heard, inclusion, belonging, community |
| isolated | lonely, afraid, scared | community, inclusion, belonging, contribution |
| left out | sad, lonely, anxious | inclusion, belonging, community, connection |
| let down | sad, disappointed, frightened | consistency, trust, dependability, consistency |
| manipulated | angry, scared, powerless, thwarted, frustrated | autonomy, empowerment, trust, equality, freedom, free choice, connection, genuineness |
| mistrusted | sad, angry | trust |
| misunderstood | upset, angry, frustrated | to be heard, understanding, clarity |
| neglected | lonely, scared | connection, inclusion, participation, community, care, mattering, consideration |
| overpowered | angry, impotent, helpless, confused | equality, justice, autonomy, freedom |
| overworked | angry, tired, frustrated | respect, consideration, rest, caring |
| patronized | angry, frustrated, resentful | recognition, equality, respect, mutuality |
| pressured | anxious, resentful, overwhelmed | Relaxation, clarity, space, consideration |
| provoked | angry, frustrated, hostile, antagonistic, resentful | respect, consideration, |
| put down | angry, sad, embarrassed | respect, acknowledgment, understanding |
| rejected | hurt, scared, angry, defiant | belonging, inclusion, closeness, to be seen, acknowledgment, connection |
| ripped off/ screwed | Anger, resentment, disappointment | consideration, justice, fairness, justice acknowledgement, trust |
| smothered/ suffocated | Frustrated, fear, desperation, | space, freedom, autonomy, authenticity. self expression |
| taken for granted | sad, angry, hurt, disappointment | appreciation, acknowledgment, recognition, consideration |
| threatened | scared, frightened, alarmed, agitated, defiant | Safety, autonomy |
| trampled | angry, frustrated, overwhelmed | empowerment, connection, community, being seen, consideration, equality, respect, acknowledgment |
| tricked | embarrassed, angry, resentful | integrity, trust, honesty |
| unappreciated | sad, angry, hurt, frustrated | appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, consideration |
| unheard | sad, hostile, frustrated | understanding, consideration, empathy |
| unloved | sad, bewildered, frustrated | love, appreciation, empathy, connection, community |
| unseen | sad, anxious, frustrated | acknowledgment, appreciation, be heard |
| unsupported | sad, hurt, resentful | support, understanding |
| unwanted | sad, anxious, frustrated | belonging, inclusion, caring |
| used | sad, angry, resentful | autonomy, equality, consideration, mutuality |
| victimized | frightened, helpless | empowerment, mutuality, safety, justice |
| violated | sad, agitated, anxiety | privacy, safety, trust, space, respect |
| wronged | angry, hurt, resentful, irritated | respect, justice, trust, safety, fairness |
Susan Skye, Portland, Oregon 503-245-5735
susanskye@gmail.com nvcti.com
